John Smeaton - Hero For Our Time

You'll be happy to know that John Smeaton, the Glasgow Airport baggage baron/terrorist avenger, has the aforementioned and hoped-for 1,000 pints of beer lined up for him at the airport's Holiday Inn bar (via Paypal). Thirst no more, Johnny!

John is burning up Google at the moment, and rightly so. Endearingly foot-in-mouth after kicking al-Q'aandie ass, his nation can be proud. (Vids previously posted here, thanks to Al C.) Perversely proud, if they so choose. There's talk of a knighthood for Sir Smeato, and his impromptu promoter is seeking for more. I'll hand the blog to him for a minute:

But are you going to stop now? As well as melting the internet, is there more to be done?

I say there is. I say let’s sort it out. I’m talking T In The Park.

The ‘official word’ goes as follows:

T in the Park organiser Geoff Ellis said: “Through his actions at the weekend John Smeaton absolutely epitomises the spirit of Scotland that we are always so proud of at T in the Park.

“However, due to heightened security and an incredibly tight performance schedule on the Main Stage at T in the Park this year, unfortunately we can’t allow him to get up on stage.”

This make no sense to me.

They talk of a tight performance schedule. And I answer, “But they let Amy Winehouse spend ten minutes falling all over the stage while introducing her band at Glastonbury”.

They talk of heightened security. And we all know, really, that that is a major concern for everyone. But, I ask you, “If you need security, who better to be there than the Smeatonator?”

There is a campaigns page coming soon for signing a petition. Apparently Smeats is already gratefully accepting donations in pubs, since no one has been able to find him for days. No doubt he'll turn up soon. Until then, we bid you "Cheers!" from this side of the pond, John.