The Only Thing To Fear Is Aaaauuughhhh!!!!

Surprisingly, more people hate the US after six years of breaking down doors in the night, dragging off children for "stressful interrogations," machine-gunning suspicious-looking SUVs, and occasionally bombing Muslim wedding parties. Enemies show new life and suddenly rise as a phoenix from the ashes. According to unquoted "U.S. intelligence analysts," the once timid, on-the-run al-Qaida is resurgent and ready to take out Lincoln, Nebraska. We sure needed this special report, especially now:

WASHINGTON (AP) - U.S. intelligence analysts have concluded al-Qaida has rebuilt its operating capability to a level not seen since just before the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks, The Associated Press has learned.

The conclusion suggests that the group that launched the most devastating terror attack on the United States has been able to rebuild despite nearly six years of bombings, war and other tactics aimed at crippling it.

Still, numerous government officials say they know of no specific, credible threat of a new attack.

They're dishing it in the absence of specific, credible threats. Whatever Al-Qaeda may be, it must love having the US occupy Iraq, Afghanistan, and much of the Mid-East. For them it must have been like an all-you-can-eat buffet of revenge. But Homeland Security Director Michael Chertoff has a gut feeling that Al-Qaeda, Branch Waziristan is going to attack sometime this summer. And former Jack-Boot Polisher Rick Santorum hopes for a big boom so you blow up and can't vote against The Pugs:

"Between now and November, a lot of things are going to happen, and I believe that by this time next year, the American public’s going to have a very different view of this war, and it will be because, I think, of some unfortunate events, that like we’re seeing unfold in the UK. But I think the American public’s going to have a very different view."

It's great to know the former Senator may still be getting intelligence briefings, and that ABC's Brian Ross, direct descendant of Mohammed the Prophet, is still getting pre-digested meals from a wing of the White House. This fear-mongering likely came from the OVP (Office of the Vice President) and there probably is going to be an attack. Maybe, instead of by Disgruntled Doctors Without Borders, this one will come via the former Iraqi Equestrian Team. What will be the lucky city? I only hope it's small-time, the attacks foiled like the ones by the aforementioned doctors in the UK were. Lincoln? Lincoln, Nebraska? San Antonio? Don't think you're immune. You may have a Middle-Eastern market or two in your midst. Better go burn them down, just to be safe.

For the record, this sudden flurry of stories is coordinated, clumsy, skin-flint propaganda. Notice not a single intelligence analyst is quoted in the stories. Notice they didn't even bother to pay anyone halfway qualified to parrot the talking points. The threat is the same as it has been for the past three years, and if al-Q had really wanted to kill Americans on home soil, the sleeper cells would have been shaken awake already. If attacks on U.S. soil will again be encouraged or allowed to happen, it's because the Pugs are on the run, it's politically expedient, and is a proven formula which yields tremendous "bang" for the buck.

It is true that many people now have personal reasons to nurse vendettas against the US, enough so they don't value their lives anymore and may blow themselves up out of mere desires for fitting ends of misery. But there is another factor, too: Pug backs are now being pushed up against walls by a treasonous Congress which is showing signs of fused vertebrae. If you were in al-Qaeda, what would you do? You might be watching C-Span, and noting that Congress and upcoming elections could do your bidding. You might be paying attention, and decide to give them a little time. And you might wonder what spectacular attacks could be credited to you.