If The Wankers Hate Me, I Might Be Doing Something Right

Dean's 50-state strategy was patient, brave, and paid off big-time. The strategy caused a lot of conflict in the Dimocratic Party, which, since it was triangulated into oblivion by Bubba and many predecessors, could benefit from lots of conflict. A big double boiler of tar is bubbling on the oven right now, and Lord Wife is tearing a feather pillow apart as I write this. Even so, I can see why some would question the wisdom of his plan: "Umm...Howard, what do you really think we'll accomplish in Utah? Rolling dead presidents into any campaign there is a waste, those people are worse than the Fundies. And why are you flying from there to Alaska? Have you considered taking a Greyhound? A bus would be much cheaper, and the difference in cost will print up campaign buttons for every soccer mom in Albany, New York."

Dean's strategy was the political equivalent of Hannibal marching elephants through the snowy Spanish Alps to attack Rome from its back-side. It was a royal flush, in spades. So why is James Carville, Clinton's campaign strategist, and Rahm Emanuel, the Dims' House campaign money-man, slamming him in concerto with Republicans? Well, for starters, Carville is by his own admission mentally unbalanced, and he proudly claims to sleep with the enemy. He is married to Mary Matalin, long-time Pug campaign consultant, and she herself is quite capable of working up a white rabid froth around the mouth on regular occasion. And Rahm used to dance ballet, which is fine, but he refuses to talk about it anymore. There is a war on for the heart and soul of the Democratic Party. On one side are the old-time machine politicians, all about control. On the other are the Net-Rooters, all about direction.

Carville has been completely off the farm since he called up his wife in the White House on November 8th, 2004 and told her Kerry was going to demand a recount in Ohio. His wife Mary dutifully took that information to her team, and Karl Rove promptly got Ohio state election commissioner Ken Blackwell on the phone and told him to stonewall or (presumably) the pictures would be published and his children would disown him.

I'd love to compare Carville's special brand of incompetence to Rumsfeld's, but Carville is too much like Benedict Arnold. Don't get me wrong, Carville is no slouch when it comes to incompetence, but being a turncoat trumps that. Too bad he doesn't even have the self-honesty to admit it. Like Arnold, the fleeing Carville will eventually be apprehended. I see he's prepared to be shot for treason, since he's already wearing his blindfold.

Dean's response to the froth: "Oh, that's just Beltway silliness."