Sunday, November 30, 2008

It's Official

Want to know how I knew Hillary Clinton was going to be Secretary of State? Simple. Neither she nor her Big Dog talked to the press for, like, weeks while their misshapen hunchbacks were out robbing graves and urgently wiring all the available electricity down into transducers until it was sucked up and they shouted, "It's a-live, it's alive, it's aliiiiivvve!"

The background is complicated, in an Eyes Wide Shut kind of way. Barack Obama offered the Secretary of Herbal Teas & Bombing to Hillary Clinton, and we early and dutifully passed that information along. But there was a catch, a huge Catch-22, and that's some catch. Her husband Bill has been flying around the globe promoting his Clintonian Global Initiative for the last 8 years on a free-range combination of "Feed the World" and "Air F*** One." So the deal was, he had to turn over the names of 200,000+ foundation donors to the Obama drill-masters, and that's what all the waiting was about.

The salutatorian of my high school got mononucleosis around Christmas, so he had to stay home for a few months, and he wasn't valedictorian because the typing teacher only gave him a B+. I had to listen to him bitch about it for 4 months of my senior year after my stepfather told me he wouldn't pay for Yale or Harvard, not a dime, not even on scholarship. I know what sucks. Even so, it must not have been easy for Bill to knuckle under Arkansas-style.

I can commiserate, but my imagined intern-job (which didn't exist at the time, not until now) would've been having the internet, a sexy librarian, and a modest travel budget to go through that list of Bill's donors. Now, anytime Hillary Clinton even thinks about going off the farm I could just browse through the donor list and construct an email titled, for example: "The New York Times: Adolescent Girls Recall Orgy, Fundraising Event In Azerbaijan With Former US President."

Bill is still tasked with foreign affairs. Hillary is tasked with a rain-delayed dance in Palestine. Game's on.

Clinton Decides to Accept Post at State Dept., Confidants Say


Still Life Living said...

As I look at this youthful picture,
as I peer into the windows of her soul,
I wonder
who ate who?

As I ponder the future,
as I study the past,
I see 18 million
chinks in the cieling.

Cielings will be floors,
and floors have been roofs.
Give me the milky way,
That is how the light gets in.

A. Peasant said...

I see she also finagled direct access - no NSA gatekeeper between her and Obama.

"The better to eat you with, my dear." - Wolf, to Red Riding Hood

MarcLord said...


you're like this in the morning, too?

MarcLord said...


in comparing her to Talleyrand, Napoleon's foreign secretary, I wasn't joking. She has stature, talent, and her own agenda, and nobody's quite sure what that is.

This will be interesting, hopefully not as interesting as smuggling CIA planefuls of cocaine through Arkansas.

A. Peasant said...

We must not misunderestimate their talent for 'Interesting.'

Jesus Reyes said...

Great photo. You know she did some paper thingy on Saul Alinsky, too - about the time of this photo. I saw Bill in Rwanda the other day with Paul Kagame while they gazed over into Kivu admiring their boy, Nkunda. I think there is a Chabad Lubavitch Center in Central Africa, too. Yeah, I know there is, Kinshasa. Bill's digging water wells - or something. The last eight years have been rather dull. The next eight will be more nuanced.

MarcLord said...

Jesus (god I like saying that),

As you know, Hill flirted with organizing until her Wellesley friends started getting killed off.

Btw, you should really check out A.Peasants' site, The Twelfth Bough. (And vice-versa.)

Pedestrian said...

I was 99.9% sure it was going to happen, but I was still hoping it wouldn't.

To many like me, who are not American, what appealed most about Obama was - the hopes - that he would take a different approach to the Middle East. Not a very different approach of course, as that is just wishful thinking. But slightly perhaps?

I wonder if that is still a possibility ... I know he's still the president, but it's hard to digest that any "change" can come from a lady who spoke about obliterating us ...

On a side note, I've seen this picture before, and I think she looks so innocent and beautiful ... I wonder what happened after ... Or was it just photoshop?

MarcLord said...


Obama will most definitely take a different approach in the MidEast, and the time is right for one. First, Samantha Power is in charge of the State Dept. transition (anti-genocide, hates Hillary). Next, Olmert signalled that Israel will likely pull out of the West Bank in a remarkable interview yesterday:

I mean, yeah, it's the usual suspects. But leadership and vision trump pretty much everything else.

Naj said...

The hell with Hillary ... but I like the reinstatement of Gate.

And i keep wondering if Suzanne Rice is related to Condy?

Anonymous said...

Yeah, the Rice connection occurred briefly to me yesterday (but I wasn't serious). So, foreign policy's in the hands of a couple of smart, wonky women. Any idea how they've gotten along in the past?

MarcLord said...


Susan no relation to Condy; she's more "black elite" than Condy. And yes, Hillary is a long, long way down the Highway to Hell.

MarcLord said...


Samantha Power had to resign for calling Hillary "a monster" during O's campaign. But, being "an expert" on genocide and the Pulitzer Prize-winning author of 2002's 'A Problem from Hell,' it was an easy call that she'd be back.

Hillary probably didn't know she existed, but Power is now in charge of hiring in the State Department. Hillary's State Department. Cat Fight potential = max.

Jesus Reyes said...

I did check them out and I am digging the hell out of them, big time.

MarcLord said...


Thought you'd like. Cool!

Anonymous said...

Back when I heard that Samantha Power was an advisor to Obama during his campaign, I thought "wow, this guy really is different - how cool is this??"

Hillary: who was it who said "keep your friends close, but your enemies closer?" I suspect that may have been at least part of the motivation in nominating Hillary for Sec State. She may actually do a decent job in that position. If not, well, she can always be replaced.

Naj said...

What's "black elite"?

Like our anti-democratic governor general up here?!

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