Security Lapse In Heart Of White House

In a chilling display of cunning, pranksters eluded the Secret Service to sabotage Karl Rove's black Jaguar in the most secure private driveway in the world. The car was defaced with thousands of Post-It notes, an "I Love Obama" bumper sticker, two bald eagles, an elephant, and then wound up with plastic wrap. Obviously the handiwork of Al-Qaeda. Or K-Street lobbyists.

Gosh, it would be really hilarious if they find Rove's body in the trunk.