Greece Joins Al-Qaeda

A funny thing happened on the way to the Forum. It blew up. Sorta. Someone on their 6AM commute in Athens shot an anti-tank rocket grenade (RPG) at the US embassy insignia. They hit the third-floor toilets. (Not making this up.)

I've been waiting for the Greeks to turn on us and reject the American Way of Life for about 2,500 years now, and it's finally happened. If any of you have met more than one taxi driver in Athens, you know that Al-Qaeda will be adopted in solidarity, hugged and kissed on the cheek, offered an Ouzo, expected to communicate in fluent Greek while being driven on a circuitous, meter-spinning route through neighborhoods which haven't gotten a remodel since Napoleon's troops were scratching grafitti on the pyramids at Giza, lectured incomprehensibly on the former glories of Greece, and then dropped off to pine for service at a bad restaurant.

Al-Qaeda will, however, have to compete with groups like November 17, Revolutionary Struggle, and the ACPU (Aggressive Cretan Prostitutes Union). The US embassy is hit with a rocket every ten years by one of these groups on a round-robin basis. So get in line, Osama, and whatever you do, don't give RPGs to the cabbies. Remember, they don't hate us for our freedoms. They despise us, they hate you, and please send their regards to their cousins in Erie.