Republicans On The Run II

Reader, sane person, and fellow Seattleite Isabelita expresses doubts that McCain will stumble in the Fall, feeling that maybe he'll somehow eke out another Pug-stolen election. I share your doubts, Iz--is it really possible that this politically sewn-up society of vicious, limitless, corpse-gnawing swine will simply file back into their sties? Constantly bitten, forever shy.

But then I think, how weird is this already? Imagine that it's September 12th again, and you're sitting at home watching the news, on the verge of a seizure from the shock therapy of seeing Islam-powered jets slam into the World Trade Centers over and ka-blinka and over. Then this bright little hole appears in your living room wall, it gets bigger, and out pops a magical time-traveling dwarf who intones the following:

"Hear me, oh mortal, and be not afraid! I come from the future and bear a message for your people. Seven years from now, your next President's middle name will be Hussein, and his last name will rhyme with Osama. Oh, yeah--he'll be black and from Kenya. Thou must go now, and tell thy people."

Personally, I would have said to the dwarf, "Look, you're obviously a time traveler, probably from a different planet, maybe even an angel. But I'm not going anywhere and you're completely crazy. So let's just keep this between you and me for now, ok?"

But that dwarf was probably right. Republicans are more frightened than they were after Watergate. The RNC chair, Rep. Tom Davis (R-VA) called President Bush "absolutely radioactive" on TV last night, predicting that "if Senator John McCain is seen by voters as "Bush III" he will lose by 20 percentage points." It's Davis's job to be the party's optimist.

Then, Peggy Noonan, the Catholic conservative speech writer and seer of the Republicans talks to the old-time hands, and she had this to say in yesterday's Wall Street Journal:

The Democrats aren't the ones falling apart, the Republicans are. The Democrats can see daylight ahead. For all their fractious fighting, they're finally resolving their central drama. Hillary Clinton will leave, and Barack Obama will deliver a stirring acceptance speech. Then hand-to-hand in the general, where they see their guy triumphing. You see it when you talk to them: They're busy being born.

The Republicans? Busy dying. The brightest of them see no immediate light. They're frozen, not like a deer in the headlights but a deer in the darkness, his ears stiff at the sound. Crunch. Twig. Hunting party.

There's a long way to go, and those quotes are there to make me feel better, too. But here's a happy thought: at least the right people are scared for once.