Cheney Telegraphs Nuclear Or Biological Attack With Skillful Cheer

Today Dick Cheney granted an interview to Politico, of all places. From this we know his wheelchair was not rolled into a pool of starving piranhas, that his Pumphead heart still beats and he has embarked on an internet-savvy PR campaign. We learn he owns an Amazon Kindle, that he's planning a book which will reveal how torturing people kept American soil from being attacked by external terrorists for 7 years. With the help of his earth-daughter Liz, his cloaking device worked pretty well throughout the session, so he managed to come off as remarkably life-like...at times even achieving a disarming quality. Until one examines the synthetic output:

Former Vice President Dick Cheney warned that there is a “high probability” that terrorists will attempt a catastrophic nuclear or biological attack in coming years, and said he fears the Obama administration’s policies will make it more likely the attempt will succeed.

Can't we hold this anarchist in jail, or something? He provides more specific detail of the horrific event:

Cheney said “the ultimate threat to the country” is “a 9/11-type event where the terrorists are armed with something much more dangerous than an airline ticket and a box cutter – a nuclear weapon or a biological agent of some kind” that is deployed in the middle of an American city.

“That’s the one that would involve the deaths of perhaps hundreds of thousands of people, and the one you have to spend a hell of a lot of time guarding against,” he said. “I think there’s a high probability of such an attempt."

Indeed. To approach the shock levels which followed 9/11, the loss of life from an attack would have to be at least an order of magnitude higher. So here's a red-blinking dot to connect, or not. Cheney's skillful Politico messaging was imparted just as a global threat warning was being issued by the State Department on Monday, February 2nd. A similar warning was issued to embassies and military installations on September 7th, 2001, and then updated on September 10th, 2001.

This "entity" is legion, they are in the business of threat-mongering, and where none sufficient could be conflated, they created one. That's a proven practice in their individual and collective histories as related in "To Russia, With Hate." Given the fixes necessary to feed their dreary highs, one should not disallow the proactive arming of a threat if it serves their continuing interests. Therefore, the Entities personified by Dick Cheney can be suspected as Public Enemy #1, and the threats they always pose are as serious as the mushroom clouds they're fixated upon. This is their business, this is their livelihood, and if you climb into their unhinged calculating heads you may hear questions such as these: "What's the acceptable loss, and where would it have greatest effect on funding?"

Perhaps there are such things as coincidences, the timing of the World Caution notice is mere prudence, and hopefully I'm even more paranoid than Cheney and nothing he chimed on with will happen if we stop torturing people from the third world whose uncle stole someone's goat 60 years ago and got turned in for a vendetta. Just as cheerfully I hope, probably forlornly, that Team Obama is closely monitoring the whereabouts and communications of Cheney and his associates. The most prudent thing to do would be to dispense with trials and proceed to glib denials and unfortunate accidents.

Cheney Crushes Shotgun Barrel Between Teeth, Loses Two Molars

While the American political process cravenly hawks hollowed ground for the ten thousandth time over bodies that were ground to bits 7 years ago today and then sandwiched between asbestos, concrete dust, and molten steel, I could use some good news. And here it is!

At the OPEC meeting in Vienna, Iraq just told 6 Western oil companies to take their no-bid contracts and go screw themselves. Somewhere, Dick Cheney is gurgling with rage, killing something small and helpless 'cuz the whole point of his Evil Plan just went pfffffftttt. Still think Iraq is "doable," Dick? Hahahahaahaa! The Chinese pay cash up front:

Iraq’s oil minister, Hussain al-Shahristani, told reporters at an OPEC summit meeting in Vienna on Tuesday that talks with Exxon Mobil, Chevron, Shell, Total, BP and several smaller companies for one-year deals, which were announced in June and subsequently delayed, had dragged on for so long that the companies could not now fulfill the work within that time frame. The companies confirmed on Wednesday that the deals had been canceled.

Since that time, however, Iraq’s central government has moved on with other energy deals. The Oil Ministry last month signed its first major post-Hussein contract with the China National Petroleum Corporation.

Unlike Dick Cheney, some people do not see losing control of Iraq's oil as a disaster, in much the same way many U.K. residents don't see successes by India as the end of the world. Rest of the article here.

In For A Penny, In For An Armageddon

As a Russian carrier task force bobbed through the Med on its way to the Levant, Syrian president Bashar Assad (who before the NeoCon Surprise in Georgia and the Polish Missile Crisis had been working on a peace treaty with Israel) was in Russia. Assad assented to hosting a "defensive missile shield" and a Russian base in his country. Let's see now, for Fundies waiting on the Rapture, is it Gog who will play Russia, and was it Magog who'll be China, or was it the other way around? Saddam Hussein, Babylon the Great, the Anti-Christ, numerology, the King of the North et cetera, you just can't tell the players without a program:

The Russian aircraft carrier “Admiral Kuznetsov” is heading from Murmansk towards the Mediterranean and the Syrian port of Tartus. The mission comes after Syrian President Bashar Assad said he is open for a Russian base in the area. The “Admiral Kuznetsov”, part of the Northern Fleet and Russia’s only aircraft carrier, will head a Navy mission to the area. The mission will also include the missile cruiser “Moskva” and several submarines, Newsru.com reports.

President Assad in meetings in Moscow this week expressed support to Russia’s intervention in South Ossetia and Georgia. He also expressed interest in the establishment of Russian missile air defense facilities on his land.

The “Admiral Kuznetsov” also last year headed a navy mission to the Mediterranean. Then, on the way from the Kola Peninsula and south, it stopped in the North Sea where it conducted a navy training exercise in the immediate vicinity of Norwegian offshore oil installations.

Alternative energy is lovely stuff, but oil is the hottest source there is, and civilizations have shown a pronounced preference to pursue the #1 option; plus, as Phil of Perils of Caffeine in the Evening once observed, "We're humans. We burn shit." Less sagely, Condi Rice said last week, "The Cold War is over," and I sure hope she's wrong again. Because if she's right, she's too right. Give us a Cold War again, give us Nikita Kruschev in Manhattan banging his shoe on a table at Maxim's demanding service, hell, bring on a caviar embargo. It's better than the same old Bush Administration "who, me?" looks after another botch-n-blot on the escutcheon, wiser than the harsh retaliations of signing a missile deal with Poland, suspending NATO's ties with Moscow, and launching more meetings on Georgia joining NATO.

Living off the tampered hydroponics fed to us in the Media Hothouse, its easy for anyone, Big People included, to miss the primary facts. Modern armies are the most enthusiastic users of oil that ever existed. The Russians have a much-improved army, and do not need to back down. They can beat the US and its proxies on the ground in Poland, Azerbaijan, Georgia and the Ukraine without breaking a sweat, and all are areas they have controlled for most of the past three thousand years. As the Russian President remarked today,

"We're not afraid of anything (including) the prospect of a Cold War..."If they want to preserve good relations with Russia, they will understand the reason for taking such a decision (for parliament to recognize independence of South Ossetia and Abkhazia) and the situation will be calm."

Now they are about to have an aircraft carrier parked just off "America's strongest ally," and they have no intention of allowing control of an area's hydrocarbons to pass to Western oligarchies, i.e., Dick and Dubya's friends. On the map above, two little countries separate Russia from Iran, each with a new pipeline running oil out through them to the west. As a demonstration of intentions, Russian forces cut the Baku-Tbilisi-Ceyhan (BTC) pipeline which passes through Georgia carrying 4% of western supply, and then, when Georgia tried to get the oil shipments out by rail, they cut the tracks.

It'ss unclear whether Russia will let either resume, but they can throttle them at will, and this changes the power calculus in the entire region if not the world. The Ukraine must keep Russia happy. Azerbaijan must keep Russia happy. Israel must keep Russia happy. For Georgia, it would be wise for its president, the one who listened to American admonitions to attack Russia, to step down; his own people, the ones who gave him 96% of the vote in a free and fair election, know he's a liability.

As it happens, Dick Cheney has gone on a diplomatic mission to Georgia, the Ukraine, and Azerbaijan. If anyone is disturbed by finding the words "Dick Cheney" and "diplomatic mission" in the same sentence, why yes, you should be. (Welcome to Club Paying Attention, and here is your complimentary Xanax.) Unfortunately, he's back on the stage after an all-too-short internal exile. Cheney's prime directive is to suck oil and gas out from the Caucasus and Caspian Basins in order to slow the long-term growth rates of Russia, India, and China. That's about where the analysis ends in his cost-benefit equation, because the benefits of getting those resources to him easily outweigh the costs of millions of dead, and it's not like higher energy costs are a deterrent.

As a Pumphead, Cheney cannot back off from the finite prizes he covets, believes them to be in our civilization's long-term best interests, and doesn't recognize how bad his position, or rather our position, has gotten relative to Russia. He is horribly prone to further over-reach even as Israel, precious Israel wavers. As the pipelines go, so go they, and it was Panglossian hubris, a willful denial of Russia's military capabilities and interests, to install a major new line 70-80 miles away from its southern border.

While an American Maniac plays out his part, we will be very lucky indeed if he doesn't promise a military response to Georgia. They'll ask for one, although Bush would first send troops to Atlanta (h/t to reader Jon for that quip). A good outcome is one in which Ossetia and Abkhazia break away from Georgia in return for the pipeline flowing again. In that case, the bell rings, and we can go back to our corners, take a breather before the next round and try to figure out how to win on points. The bad outcome, which should not, must definitely not happen is for a US Carrier Battle Group to deploy to the Med. That's the signal for when the Pipeline Wars start going very, very bad.

Got Treason?

Senate intelligence committee's Phase II report on pre-war Iraq is finally out. No news for the cognoscenti, but at least the little Dutch boys are running like hell from the dike. The cowardly little twerps. TPM has the specifics:

Phase II
You can find the reports here:
http://intelligence.senate.gov/080605/phase2a.pdf
http://intelligence.senate.gov/080605/phase2b.pdf

"Report on Whether Public Statements Regarding Iraq by U.S. Government officials Were Substantiated by Intelligence Information"

"Report on Intelligence Activities Relating to Iraq Conducted by the Policy Counterterrorism Evaluation Group and the Office of Special Plans Within the Office of the Under Secretary of Defense for Policy"

Here are the key points from the reports, according to a press release from Sen. Jay Rockefeller's office:

--Statements and implications by the President and Secretary of State suggesting that Iraq and al-Qa'ida had a partnership, or that Iraq had provided al-Qa'ida with weapons training, were not substantiated by the intelligence.

--Statements by the President and the Vice President indicating that Saddam Hussein was prepared to give weapons of mass destruction to terrorist groups for attacks against the United States were contradicted by available intelligence information.

--Statements by President Bush and Vice President Cheney regarding the postwar situation in Iraq, in terms of the political, security, and economic, did not reflect the concerns and uncertainties expressed in the intelligence products.

--Statements by the President and Vice President prior to the October 2002 National Intelligence Estimate regarding Iraq's chemical weapons production capability and activities [b]did not reflect the intelligence community's uncertainties[/b] as to whether such production was ongoing.

--The Secretary of Defense's statement that the Iraqi government operated underground WMD facilities that were not vulnerable to conventional airstrikes because they were underground and deeply buried was not substantiated by available intelligence information.

--The Intelligence Community did not confirm that Muhammad Atta met an Iraqi intelligence officer in Prague in 2001 as the Vice President repeatedly claimed.

The Seizures Of Lebanon

Although it has been almost completely ignored by the media, Dick Cheney has been touring the Mid-East lately, and I don't think it's for the excellent chummus.

Just as Israel's prime minister Olmert sends diplomatic signals to Turkey that it wants their top diplomat to seek a settlement with Syria, Mr. Shadow President shows up in Tel Aviv. Then rumors start flying about Israeli super-spies in Tehran who have "the real goods" on Iranian weapons programs, Cheney pronounces our last NIE on it (saying there is no immediate threat) completely off-base, and Olmert is suddenly on the political brink again, this time over corruption charges. All coincidences.

Then, Lebanon's minority government put pressure on Hezbollah, the unseated majority party in that country, in effect attempting to disarm them. This is like Pee Wee Herman challenging George Forman to a boxing match. Hezbollah's leader in Lebanon, Hassan Nasrallah, held a press conference to say, "The decisions (of the government) are tantamount to a declaration of war and the start of a war...on behalf of the United States and Israel. We have the right to confront he who starts a war with us by defending our rights and our weapons."

Hours later, Hezbollah militiamen took over the streets of Beirut, sacking and burning whatever they wanted--TV stations, government offices. Lebanon's titular leaders huddled in their apartment compounds behind army and police contingents, probably emptying their safes before issuing calls to their troops to retreat, and calls to Al Qaeda to send in Sunni fighters. The last part is funny, because the US is lavishly financing Saad Hariri's Beirut-based Future Movement, it is Sunni, is known to have passed money and fighters into Iraq and Afghanistan, and is for all intents and purposes part of Al-Qaeda.

The net outcome of yesterday's donnybrook is that Hezbollah, the lever of Tehran, will probably win a much larger place in Lebanon's government. Somehow, one doubts that was the intended effect, but these are the circumstances we've been reduced to. And this is apparently the best Dick Cheney can do.

Well That Didn't Take Long

The day after presidential aspirant General "Surgemaster" Petraeus took over CENTCOM command from Admiral William Fallon, two Iranian boats were fired on in the Persian Gulf. Oil went over $120 a barrel, a 20% raise in the last month. In concert, Joint Chiefs Chair Adm. Mike Mullen focused on Iran's role in Iraq yesterday, (NYTimes, WaPo) stating that military action against Iran is okey-dokey.

The nation's top military officer said yesterday that the Pentagon is planning for "potential military courses of action" as one of several options against Iran, criticizing what he called the Tehran government's "increasingly lethal and malign influence" in Iraq.....

"It would be a mistake to think that we are out of combat capability," he said at a Pentagon news conference.

More Pentagon talking points delivered to the NY Times:

The administration has, in fact, discussed whether to attack training camps, safe houses and weapons storehouses inside Iran that intelligence reports say are being used by the Quds Force to train fighters, according to two senior administration officials.

Looks like Cheney has some room left to run. People who say the US can't attack Iran, because to do so would be illogical, are very nice, well-meaning folk whom I'd dearly love to believe.

Impacts Of Iran's National Intelligence Estimate

One if by CIA, two if by Them and The Other 15 US Spy Agencies. (Update: The information in the fresh report, already available to many in Congress, finally came to light because staffers in agencies were willing to go on the record, with tape rolling, if it wasn't released. To put their lives on the line. Thank you, little big people. For a lively discussion of particulars, head over to Sic Semper Tyrannis in the right margin.)

As for the NIE mini-coup, that would be a "two." Cheney's office sent the report back three times while (according to the BBC) daily calling for bombing. They finally couldn't alter it or further block publication. The report says Iran has not had a boom-nuke program since '03, stopping one after we invaded Iraq to spread democracy. Internationally, the report has had immediate repercussions. Domestically, it signals a decline in President Cheney's ability to push the agencies around. At minimum. Now, some very smart folks like uber-blogger IOZ ask, "How many divisions has the NIE?" and argue the report lacks import...that it won't stop an attack on Iran. Granted, and potentially true. Cheney could issue the command to flying space monkeys to bomb at any moment. But would the space monkeys still obey, and when you get down to it, how many divisions has Cheney? He has no direct authority, not unless Dumya is dead. (Perish the thought. No, really.)

Arguing the NIE's relevancy distracts from why it came out now, the mechanism by which it did, and its immediate effects. Domestically, the report made it through a hostile steeplechase because NIE formulation is now vetted by multiple agencies, and does not allow reports to be drafted by special committees (such as the OSP, or Office of Special Plans) without inter-agency review. This is a significant albeit weird prospect. First, agency cooperation worked, and that itself is rare. Next, our would-be saviors are people who unleashed nocturnal death squads and gave Iran weapons technology (aka Iran-Contra) in exchange for winning an election and the release of Foreign Service hostages. But even they have reputations to uphold.

The unity of purpose engendered by a Pearl-Harbor-Like-Event has officially been reversed, and the desk jockeys inside the Beltway have rolled up their sleeves in anticipation of working with the next Administration. Perception may not be reality, but heavily influences behaviors shaping it. Current perception looks like a unified anti-Cheney conspiracy: Iran is "A Dick Too Far," and policy should shift to multi-lateral pragmatism. It's time to deal with the Iranians, not by bombs but negotiations.

The coup has taken a long time. Over the past three-plus years, the Bush family along with the CIA, Nick Negroponte, Bob Gates, Condi Rice, and many rank-and-file professionals have been steadily fencing Team Cheney further and further in. They all want what's best for The Empire, of course, but the gradual realization has suffused that attacking Iran over its threat potential or antagonizing it with rhetoric, ineffectual guerilla proxies, and half-assed non-uniformed Special Forces teams are rotten ideas. The State Department has had a capable undersecretary in Nick Burns, who has wanted to bring the Iranians to the bargaining table from his first day under Condi Rice, and he's been gaining traction. As a measure of that traction, the "Iran is killing our soldiers in Iraq" meme has been downgraded. The battle for GWB's soul will continue, but Iran has been re-positioned as a potential threat, not an imminent threat. Come to think, who isn't a potential threat to the Bush Administration? Israel, I suppose, which says the report is purely bogus.

Internationally, the report's bogosity or veracity is irrelevant. Its currency is highly valued, the calculus of its effects straightforward, the timing impeccable. It appears right before the UN council meets to vote on a third round of sanctions, and just before Iran's Ahmadinejad meets with the Gulf Cooperation Council this week, where he will pitch the idea of mutual economic security. The US case before the UN is weakened, Ahmadinejad's regional case is strengthened. Israel's case for bombing Iran is marginalized, while Russia's case against a US missile shield extending into Poland and the old Eastern Bloc is strengthened. The Saudi case against demonizing the Shiites to the north is weakened, and the case for belatedly adding Cheney to The Dustbin of History is strengthened.

My Thanksgiving Prayers Had Nothing To Do With This...

Vice President Dick Cheney was hospitalized for an irregular heartbeat today. Wouldn't it be just...terrible? And just in time for the holidays! Come to think, though, it probably would be terrible for whichever one of his clones they're planning to harvest organs from next.

This knowledge came to me via Young Goodman-Blogger Who is IOZ, who filed it under "Headlines We Love." Above the headline, IOZ put up a video of a pertinent dark song, so that inspired me to go Youtubing for a version of Nick Lowe's 'The Beast in Me.' It's a great song, and someone set the track to images of Henry the Eighth (VIII), and I hereby dedicate it to the health, physical and mental, of our dearest leaders.

Polity, Declination, And Re-Boot, Pt. VII: Cheney-Gonzales 2008

Remember a teen-age ago, when the Cold War was over? At root, theories of governance are disagreements about how best to generate and apportion wealth. Precious few sources provide good views into the consequences. Rare is the surgeon of the human condition who can, more or less healthy and equally, be both dispassionate and sane. We didn't change the horsemen mid-Apocalypse.

I went to witness the Cold War's presumed end. I wanted to see Germany re-unify from the considered distance of an impregnable mountain redoubt in Switzerland. To me, re-unification seemed a certainty. An ecclesiastical organization I worked for bought land near Leipzig in 1983, when the Stasi still reigned supreme as the most ruthless, pervasive secret terror-service in the world. They knew what was up, and as a functionary I saw them break ground with a golden spade.

Then, on one rainy day in November, 1989, East Germans were allowed to travel freely to the West. There were celebrations, young German engineers leaping around for joy in my office, I mean they were really leaping, crying for joy, glasnost busting out all over the place. You don't see Germans do this much. Not unless they've maybe annihilated Caesar's legions in Teutoberger Wald or polished off a couple genocides. I misted up pretty good myself, and the beers and Jaegermeister helped. But at the same time I was thinking, "You poor bastards. Just wait until you see the bats. The Cold War's not over 'til we say so, bee-yatch."

Being a cynic was not my preference. Yet all the ideologies, philosophies, and theories which have steeped and brewed the world's conflicts for the past 50-60 years haven't changed, and they aren't exactly heading for detente anytime soon. After the wall was chunk by chunk hammered on down, I flew into New York to see my Wall Street mentor, a girl, and in a strange coincidence Robert DeNiro's Orthodox Jewish butler. Who was a cousin of Meir Kahane. My comparatively stable mentor was Joseph Palmeri. Over breakfast one Saturday morn in Tribeca he said that the stock market was primed to go up on "The Peace Dividend." Ever the sophisticate, I started to laugh but instead inhaled a fair portion of my blueberry and whipped-cream pancake (god, Joe, that was a great breakfast. Thank you forever.).

When the obstruction had mostly worked its way out of my lungs, my voice wheezed out through my tears: "Peace dividend?! Wha-da-fa? Yeltsin will be lucky to be alive in 6 months. The chances of a civil war are 50-50. Either way, generals will be looking to sell nuclear warheads, a third of which are in the Ukraine, gonna haul ass out of the Union. The Saint Pete girls really knock me out. Oh, yeah. Almost forgot. We're going to invade Baghdad. Is that the Peace Dividend?"

At the time, I had never heard of Leo Strauss or Paul Wolfowitz, and my mental space was nearly devoid of Dick Cheney. Blissfully so. Well. Once you name something, you can begin to deal with it. The Cheney. Drawing distinctions between communism, socialism, fascism, or capitalism is past history. A waste of time. I've been wondering what the word "conservative" means, and what's "neo-liberal" supposed to mean anyway? Does Webster's apply anymore? Up is down, down is up. Labels, logos, and brands often stoop to dishonesty, and all I know is they have pretty colors and always seem to say "New and Improved" on the laundry detergents. So let's apply Adam and Eve's naming power anew.

There are only two competing philosophies that matter today. One is the idea of purely free, unfettered Year-Zero market capitalism. The other philosophy is espoused by people who think massively inefficient regulations and standards are still needed. Free market utopianism, once derided as idiotic, is now as orthodox as Nike T-shirts made in Sri Lanka. Corporatism rules every meaningful roost. Regulations and standards are old hat, as if we wear hats anymore. I wear freebie caps when it rains, and when it rains...it's friggin' pourin', my friends. Effulgent markets decree that we should lay in a ready stock of RPGs. You Eagle Scouts should secure some 60 millimeter mortars. Very handy. I mean, look at Liberia, or Darfur. The Suzuki Sidekick, it's the Official Car of the Tsutsi Rebels. Good for mobile artillery, and an enterprising fellow could make some real money there. Back in '03 I wanted to fly to Baghdad in a bad way, and Lord Wife was dead serious about not letting me. Something in my gut told me they were flying 363 tons of $100 bills there, and that they'd spread out near and far. Lord Baby was new at the time, and my corporate prostitution conviction was recent.

The Cold War? Never cold. Never over. Russia, Iran, China and even Brazil are still out there stalking cozy Midwesterners sleeping soundly on their Sealy Spring-Air Mattresses. But speaking of cold...the Arctic Circle's warming up a little every day, you can still stake out a claim and make a killing. The Four Horsemen are hopped up on meth, Lipitor, and cumiden. They're running loose and free, and Cheney-Gonzales can still make the ticket in '08. If they run much further, please: Jesus Christ, Father in Heaven and the Holy Ghost help us. They hold the bridles yet, and could still win.

The Cheney: Its Camoflage, Morphology, And Evolutionary Cycle

The clip above shows the impressive ability of an appropriately adapted Cheney to imperceptibly blend in with a host populace. Notice how it made reassuring noises while wending its way into a position of central authority, much like a heart-worm uses the circulatory action in a mammalian venous system to eventually reach its target. I offer a draft entymological synopsis for your peer review.

Larval ("Human") Phase:


In this stage the cheney's external carapace is strikingly human-like, and it will attempt to use its considerable powers of mimicry to pass itself off as a human being. It must be careful to shield its internal systems from investigation, however, since its body is actually composed entirely of a combination of cesium, concentrated evil collected in a bolus within the chest cavity, and a malleable semi-organic compound known as floama. The larval cheney will seek positions of power in order to fulfill its primary evolutionary imperative of maximizing human suffering.

Pupal Phase:



In the pupal stage the cheney's floama begins to coagulate, causing decomposition of the human-like carapace and therefore substantially heightening the risk of detection. Adults who have become acclimated to the cheney in the larval phase may not notice the decay of its outer layer; however, it must be careful to avoid dogs and small children. If its quest for power has been successful, it will use this power to attempt to shield itself from further inspection.

As notable as the physical degradation in this phase is the ethical corruption, which accelerates greatly as the bolus of concentrated evil reacts with the cesium and begins to disperse, slowly permeating the organism. The extreme and clearly non-human level of malice exhibited by the pupal cheney may arouse suspicion, but it will generally be able to continue to evade detection long enough to complete its metamorphosis. Eventually the floama will achieve full realignment and the evil will dissolve the now-vestigial outer carapace, leaving...

Adult Phase:



...the fully mature, adult cheney. No longer constrained by its pre-adult need to operate invisibly within human society, and virtually indestructible due to its fully-hardened floama superstructure, the cheney is now free to openly indulge its preferred diet of human young.

NB: This discussion has focused on the dick cheney; cheneys grown from other harvested body parts such as the lung or elbow may exhibit slight variations in morphology (e.g. in the corona capitis of the adult phase).

(Apology: I have left the credit to the end, hoping that you'll think I wrote the above. Alas, except for the first paragraph above, I did not, but stole this piece o' resistance from The Distant Ocean, found via Scruggs, both bloggers well worth checking out.)

Time For Another Vacation?

I leave the country for a few measly days, and Karl Rove takes the opportunity to resign in order to take care of his family, and to take up a quiet life outside politics. (Urr-humph!*hmm-bullshit*hakk!) Sure. Now watch for his visage to appear, along about December like the Ghost of Christmas Future, behind the right elbow of presidential candidate Clinton or Giuliani. Or both of them. Gotta cover those bases.

While I obliviously strolled the grounds of kinda-sorta-foreign estates, the residents of Jackson Hole, Wyoming marched on Dick Cheney's vacation home to topple his statue (Burning in effigy being against the fire code.) Curiously, the hostile crowd was not dispersed by napalm canisters dropped from the squadron of F-22 Raptors which patrol the airspace above the erstwhile Presidente's head. Could be they got too close to the compound to safely take out with heavy ordnance; could be he's slipping. Now, I could see the Chainster having a subdued day due to poor health, maybe even dozing off contentedly while a few peasants revolted. It happens to the best of tyrants, but...he had his attack-wife Lynne with him. Speaking of Christmas, She would rather make garlands and wreaths out of demonstrators' intestines than let them engage in such doorstep effrontery. Something must be going seriously out of whack for Team Whacked for their vacation to have been disturbed in their home state.

And now this. David Walker, the US Comptroller General, came out of the closet to announce that he is...sane. He then compares US policies to that of a bankrupt Roman Empire. (Crap! I was just going to do my 300th post on that!) What's next? The masses are going to stop watching Jerry Springer's 'New Trailer Park Idol,' march on Washington, and call for a people's plebiscite? OK, no feasible way, but still, here's what Walker had to say after looking over America's balance sheet:

The US government is on a ‘burning platform’ of unsustainable policies and practices with fiscal deficits, chronic healthcare underfunding, immigration and overseas military commitments threatening a crisis if action is not taken soon, the country’s top government inspector has warned.

David Walker, comptroller general of the US, issued the unusually downbeat assessment of his country’s future in a report that lays out what he called “chilling long-term simulations”.

These include “dramatic” tax rises, slashed government services and the large-scale dumping by foreign governments of holdings of US debt.

Drawing parallels with the end of the Roman empire, Mr Walker warned there were “striking similarities” between America’s current situation and the factors that brought down Rome, including “declining moral values and political civility at home, an over-confident and over-extended military in foreign lands and fiscal irresponsibility by the central government”.

“Sound familiar?” Mr Walker said. “In my view, it’s time to learn from history and take steps to ensure the American Republic is the first to stand the test of time.”

Maybe going to Canada was a sign. Revolution by vacation. Maybe it's time to really pull out the stops and go visit most of Congress at their summer homes on the Cote d'Azur to see if more aggressive relaxation will fan these flames of weirdness into a regular Robes-Pierrean Reign of Terror. To the vineyards! Grab a cheese wheel, and man the wine-barrel barricades!

I Hereby Veto My Impeachment

We may yet live to hear those words.

Nonetheless, after the weathervane has spent its sweet time boxing the compass this year, the wind has changed, and it blows in a new direction. Consider: the new Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff just told the truth about Iraq today in front of Congress. That's definitely new. He does not bear the distinctive brand of Cheney Farms (imagine what the symbol would be...) and he lacked the demeanor of tense obedience so characteristic of those in the cabal. He spoke without fear.

Also consider: The Weekly Standard and the NeoCons lined up right behind Hillary Clinton in the past few days, and Hillary gets a sudden jump in the polls. Now the obscure congressional inherent contempt rule is being dusted off in the face of Executive Privilege being thrown over the testimony of 4 members of the President's inner circle, and Congress need only claim its rights to put them into a District of Columbia jail.

Yesterday, a social lapdog (Larry King) asked Cheney directly if it was he who ordered the White House Counsel and Chief of Staff to a dying Attorney General's bedside to re-authorize his vital political wiretapping program. King reported that Cheney says he didn't recall doing so. (Whence the sudden temerity, Larry?) To top it off, Cheney admitted he was wrong two years ago, when he said that "the insurgency is in its last throes."

The security apparatus which underpins every doomed ruler must be excised in secret, and this must occur before an impeachment or other means of ouster can occur. The grip is being loosened, the apparatus has chosen to pass itself to another, and those of us who can help it do so, must. He who hath an ear, let him hear, she that hath an eye, let her see:

And let me speak to the yet unknowing world
How these things came about: so shall you hear
Of carnal, bloody, and unnatural acts,
Of accidental judgments, casual slaughters,
Of deaths put on by cunning and forced cause,
And, in this upshot, purposes mistook
Fall'n on the inventors' reads: all this can I truly deliver."

Horatio, 'Hamlet'

The Impeachment Of Richard B. Cheney

Why is impeachment repeatedly said to be "off the table?" If professional handicappers were making odds at Vegas between Dick Cheney's impeachment and his dying in office, the odds would be posted up on the board in lime-green lights. They would look something like this:

Impeachment: 85 : 1 against
Dying in Office: 2.5 : 1 against

Despite his hypothermic approval rating, Cheney has full control over the most expensive, extensive security apparatus in the world. If a move in Congress begins to gather steam for his ouster, which has already happened a few times, all D.C. has to do is reach into his special files and peruse the unmentionable sins of his political enemies (and especially his wavering friends) and make a catalog of stained undies to throw into a briefcase. Few politicians can withstand such scrutiny. Few of us regular folks could. This is the biggest reason Congress wilts every time the pressure is on.

What kind of scrutiny are we talking, here? OK. Cheney has access to every conversation over a phone, every email and SMS message which passes between Congressional staffers and more, all back-doored, all illegal. That's the truth the hubbub with warrantless wiretapping skirted. Technically, it's all just data, and is not covered by outdated laws which pertain to unencoded/decoded phone conversations. J. Edgar Hoover stayed in power at the FBI for almost 40 years on a less powerful exercise of this technique, and Beria (Stalin's head of security) did the same in Russia.

Cheney recently ducked his office being de-funded. The vote was 15-14. Like Hoover, he can find goods on his enemies, and already has them on his friends. I state these things not as speculation. Every word you spake, every keystroke you make is subject to the core technologies and systems I've worked with. It is automatically stored on optical disk, word-spotted, then if triggers are hit it is automatically transcribed, linked to other transaction records databases, threat-graded, and if necessary, passed up the line for review. This Total Information Awareness tool isn't known to have caught any terrorists, but it is ideal for controlling political resistance.

It's critical for we the people to press for Darth Cheney's ouster by traditional procedures, those which have not yet been officially negated. Why? Sooner or later, the will of the people becomes the law of the land. Cheney is a bad-ass trembling stalwart set about by offended inimicals, about to fall. Who wants him? Who loves him? Sonny in the Godfather is riding in a car on the turnpike in New Jersey, a car which is slowing down for a toll booth on a Sunday afternoon. And almost everybody wants to get him gone. Even the establishment crime families who run this country. Leave the gun, take the cannoli.

Queens and Kings knew they had to keep the People happy. Smile and wave. Wave and smile, all the while concealing matters better left unexamined. It's not too different now, and why should it be? Even if he were to die in office, his security apparatus, all $40 Billion per year of it, will remain in place and loyal, resisting a Purge and with the old lines in place. There are matters we don't want to hear about, and it's why we keep hearing impeachment is "off the table." Probably true, but the pressure has to go somewhere, and there's only one thing sure: some rough beast even stronger lies in waiting.

Bush To Receive Routine Colonoscopy, Hand Reigns To Cheney

Shhh! The President speaks: "Yeah. Gotta have one of them colon-oskerpies. Happens all the time down on the Ranch, so this one at Camp David'll be no big, ahh, deal. Yep. Not...big."

Hahaahaha! Colonoscopy. Routine. Haahaahahahaa! Whee-oo. That's a good one! ("Mr. President, you might experience some slight discomfort as we insert this three-foot long roto-rooter-like device with a camera strapped to it into your rectum so we can twist it around. It's all perfectly routine. Oh, no, no, I'm not a Democrat, sir. I'm just a good ol' country doctor."

Giving the keys of POTUS over to Cheney, even for a few hours, is a little too much like Frodo handing the Ring of Power over to Gollum. Guess we'll just have to sleep on it and see how things go in the morning. ;-)

Update: Great news, everybody! George Dubya Bush is still our President! Cardinal Cheney transferred The Power back! And this from the comments section by someone using the code name 'Laufenstrasse:'

I guess the promise of personally holding the power in his own hands is even a greater thrill than being the great puppetmaster. Ahhh, raw power.

And what is it about Bush's anus that makes this transfer of power seem so natural?

Consequences Of Attacking Iran, Pt. VI: The Last Ride Of The Oil Wraiths

Dick Cheney was outed by the Guardian today as the chief proponent of attacking Iran (ok, no news yet), and the article claims he has won out over Condoleeza Rice and Undersecretary of State Nick Burns for procuring Bush's approval to Bring 'Em On (News. That would be news.). Cheney and The Nazgulettes have been fighting an internal tug-o-war over Dubya's wavering judgement against Condi, Bob Gates, Bush the Elder, and most of the planet. Cheney has reportedly won. On the bright side, this article will spur the sane people, and many marginally sane people, into working harder against another idiotic war, into re-doubling their efforts to block it and send Cheney yee-hawing like Bat Guano to crash harmlessly down into the earth on a disarmed bomb.

We do have a strange bedfellows issue. I would rather pet a cobra than be in the presence of Condi Rice. Or hear her duplicitous tongue form words from the rush of air. And I do not want Bob Gates anywhere near my bed, my dinner table, my house, nor my state. But I appreciate that they and others will do everything they can to undermine Cheney, including leaking this information to The Guardian so a news story can be written. At least some commentators are starting to identify the Sauron's Eye of America's troubles. It was Cheney who ditched the ISG strategy and championed The Surge. It is Cheney who has been pushing for military action against Iran ever since the invasion of Iraq. A barely reported objective of "The Surge" logic is to reinforce Iraq's border garrisons before a strike on Iran. Based on a total of 6 (3 deep-sea, 3 amphibious support) carrier battle groups being massed in the Gulf earlier this year, and on Israeli signals, I believed an attack on Iran was slated to have commenced in April. It didn't happen, and I'm glad events proved me wrong. We enjoyed a nice respite as the Oil Wraiths argued with each other. Now the losers of that argument signal us they could not convince the Grand Decider, that the Lord of Political Logistics won the game of worm tongue.

People commonly assume, as I heard at a suburban steak dinner from fond former classmates last night, that Iran can be easily subdued. This view is strategically misinformed and tactically out of date. All the competent professionals who have analyzed attacks , as I noted to my old friends, think it would be disastrous for the United States' military and for its interests in the region. This blog has harped upon those facts in the past. All known wargame-simulated Iranian invasions or air bombing campaigns ended with the US losing miserably, featuring both strategic and tactical defeats.

The simulations were well-crafted. The terrain in the Persian Gulf greatly favors prepared short-range missile defenses, with rocky crennelations ideal for concealing the new Russian-made Sunburn and Moskito missiles, for which the US Navy has no effective counter-measures, especially in an area as constrained as the Gulf. Obviously I can't provide a source confirming the presence or location of such missiles, but you can safely assume they are part of a well-mapped killing field worthy of Cannae. It is backed by a lethal arsenal of small combined arms designed to overwhelm and eliminate large, vulnerable surface targets.

The United States has a total of 277 warships. Half of them are now near Iran, as the Guardian article states. If Dick Cheney has convinced President Bush to attack, and Grand Master Bozo lowers the checkered flag, expect the Straits of Hormuz to be closed for at least 6-12 weeks, for at least half the world's oil shipments to be bottled up into the Gulf for that time, thousands upon thousands of sailors and marines to sink to the bottom of the Gulf, and the relatively quiet parts of Iraq to erupt while the remaining lifelines to American troops are cut. I wonder how the stock market will keep setting record highs in such a confusion of coincidence. Think about the consequences of that for long, and you might start stocking up on toilet paper. Or even building a backyard outhouse, since it is oil which runs the pumps of so many municipal waterworks.

In the Lord of the Rings, Sauron is deceived by glimpses of the One Ring, erroneous reports of his Nazgul, and by the errant face of a defiant Hobbit into launching his all-out attack on the white city of Minas Tirith earlier than he would have preferred. This came immediately after he and his allies suffered unexpected defeats in neighboring lands they previously considered weak. The wizard Gandalf the Grey correctly sensed Sauron's desperation and fear, for Sauron has masters, too, who demand quick results. Gandalf took the lack of patience as a sign of hope.

I do not wish more bombs or dead upon anyone, particularly not delivered from my country. And I do not wish more dead Americans. Yet the analogy is clear. The threat is seen in the wrong place. The enemy is misunderstood.The all-seeing eye of the White House is now once again in a "Flucht nach Vorne" (retreat to the front) stance, Iran will be much tougher in a direct military conflict than it is in a stand-off, and the consequences for its attackers will be harsher than even most pessimists imagine. Bush is a very, very desperate man whose time is running out, as is his Chamber-master, Dick Cheney. If you have ideas for how best to delay the last ride of the Oil Wraiths, I'd like to hear them. Because many of us happen to be their orc-ish subjects.

Cheney's Office Going To "Cash-Only" Plan

I guess the VPOTUS has to get a shipment from the Federal Reserve currency truck. Or maybe they'll just move one of their dollar-printing presses directly to his secure location.

Via: International Herald Tribune:

Senate Democrats moved Tuesday to cut off funding for U.S. Vice President Dick Cheney’s office in a continuing battle over whether he must comply with national security disclosure rules.

A Senate appropriations panel chaired by Democratic Sen. Richard Durbin refused to fund $4.8 million in the vice president’s budget until Cheney’s office complies with parts of an executive order governing its handling of classified information.

At issue is a requirement that executive branch offices provide data on how much material they classify and declassify. That information is to be provided to the Information Security Oversight Office at The National Archives.

Cheney’s office, with backing from the White House, argues that the offices of the president and vice president are exempt from the order because they are not executive branch “agencies.”

The funding cut came as the appropriations panel approved 5-4 along party lines a measure funding White House operations, the Treasury Department and many smaller agencies.

It may be time to raise the Threat Level to "High."

(research cred to Cryptogon)

New National Monument Unveiled

In what may be a bold new strategy to avoid a congressional subpoena, Vice President Dick Cheney today declared himself a national monument by the issuance of Executive Order 14273.
Mr. Cheney took the unprecedented step after failing in his attempt to invoke a lesser-known legal principle called the Separation of Cheney and State. Aides to Mr. Cheney confirmed that being a national monument gives the vice president not only immunity from subpoenas but use of selected government transport, medical staff, and Parks Service maintenance in perpetuity.

President George W. Bush presided over a solemn White House ceremony this morning in which a plaque documenting Mr. Cheney’s status as a National Monument was affixed to the vice president’s midsection. Joining the ranks of the Washington Monument and the Lincoln Memorial, Mr. Cheney is believed to be the only landmark in the nation’s capital not made out of marble.

Even as his attempt to evade a subpoena appears to have succeeded, the vice president’s new status as a national monument has created unexpected problems, as Independence Day tourists lined up around the block to get a glimpse of Washington’s latest historic attraction.

Perhaps in an effort to control the crowds, Mr. Cheney announced today that the admission price for seeing him would be set at $75,000. White House spokesman Tony Snow defended the $75,000 price tag, saying that it was an appropriate price to see a national monument of Dick Cheney’s stature. "Seventy-five thousand dollars is what it costs to see Dick Cheney,” Mr. Snow said. “Just ask any lobbyist.”

Elsewhere, Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff said that everyone in the United States should go about their normal activities, “except you terrorists.”

(I plagiarized the above from the Award-winning humorist, television personality and film actor Andy Borowitz, who is author of “The Republican Playbook.” The graphic is courtesy of Larry Johnson's "No Quarter.")

Congressional Chicken

On the surface, something rather momentous has just occurred. The Senate Judiciary Committee has agreed to subpoena the White House, specifically the Office of the Vice President, after formally requesting the same set of documents nine times. The docs discussed legal implications of warrantless wiretapping and domestic spying. Since there is no legal basis for it, only practical precedent, they must say something along these lines: "Oh, the heck with it. Let's just go ahead and do it!"

It's impressive that uber-con Senator Orrin Hatch of Utah, Warren Commission fixer Arlen Specter of Pennsylvania, and Chuck Grassley of Piggsylvania (alright, Iowans, just a little joke there) finally gave Vermont's Pat Leahy their votes to go after the White House (the resolution passed 13-3). Remarkable. These are veteran politicians who must know what they're going up against. Now, I have one big question, and one prediction:

Question: What is the committee going to do when the White House tells them to go to hell?
Prediction: Cheney's spying apparatus is at this very moment being intensely trained on Senators Hatch, Specter, and Grassley, and the phasers are being clicked to the "Stun" setting. Details of their previous communications and their personal lives including those of their families are being combed through for leverage. I hope their houses are in order.

If this sounds unnecessarily paranoid to you, you might want to consider opening a history book once in a while. Or Wikipedia. Look at the entry for J. Edgar Hoover, then tell me about paranoid. Anyhow, I kind of doubt that Congress is going to win this game of chicken with Dick Cheney. It's encouraging, but one has to be realistic. In the picture above, Congress is metaphorically represented by the water craft on the right. Cheney is represented by the oil tanker on the left. At least on this one issue, Congress is going to lose. Maybe that's fine, because it seems like they're trying to force him to cite Executive Privilege in refusing to hand over the documents. And that greases the impeachment skids.

No one seriously thinks Cheney is going to sit in front of the nation and say, "Gosh, you were right. I was trying to do what was best for the country, but I can see now that I was out of line. I'll stop spying on everybody. Oh, and I'll comply with all your oversight requests from now on. Rahm Emanuel and I talked, and frankly, he rattled me. We don't want him to cut off our funding. The Office of the Vice President will do whatever the former ballet dancer says."

I don't know what Congress is up to, exactly, but this may be part of a wide, well-organized End Game being played on Cheney. They're going to have to go at him from multiple angles. From spying. From refusal of oversight. From corruption. From running 9/11 (whooops that one just sort of slipped out). From jigging up false reasons for war. From outing CIA agents. From kicking his hunting dogs. From being ugly. The cool thing about impeachment is that it doesn't require a good reason. Just a motion, and the votes. If everyone hates you, and stops fearing you, that's good enough. Hopefully that's where this is going.

Courtesy of Think Progress:

Breaking: Senate Judiciary Committee Authorizes Subpoenas For NSA Domestic Spying Documents

The Senate Judiciary Committee just voted 13-3 to authorize chairman Patrick Leahy (D-VT) to issue subpoenas for documents related to the NSA warrantless surveillance program. Sens. Arlen Specter (R-PA), Orrin Hatch (R-UT) and Chuck Grassley (R-IA) voted with the Democrats on the committee to authorize the subpoenas for any legal opinions and advice the Bush administration has received regarding the NSA program.

The Center on Democracy & Technology has released a list of the seven “most wanted surveillance documents.” See the full list here.

The confrontation over the documents “could set the stage for a constitutional showdown over the separation of powers.” The Senate Judiciary Committee had previously scheduled to authorize subpoenas last week, but Sen. Jon Kyl (R-AZ) blocked the Judiciary Committee from voting on the subpoenas.

On May 21, the Senate Judiciary Committee made at least its ninth formal request for the documents, but the Justice Department continued its stonewalling. Leahy issued the following statement about today’s vote:

This stonewalling is unacceptable and it must end. If the Administration will not carry out its responsibility to provide information to this Committee without a subpoena, we will issue one. If we do not, we are letting this Administration decide whether and how the Congress will do its job. […]

Why has this Administration been so steadfast in its refusal? Deputy Attorney General Comey’s account suggests that some of these documents would reveal an Administration perfectly willing to ignore the law. Is that what they are hiding? […]

Whatever the reason for the stonewalling, this Committee has stumbled in the dark for too long, attempting to do its job without the information it needs. We need this information to carry out our responsibilities under the Constitution. Unfortunately, it has become clear that we will not get it without a subpoena. I urge the adoption of the subpoena authorization.

The House Judiciary Committee has also threatened to subpoena the NSA documents. In a hearing last month, Principal Assistant Attorney General Alberto Gonzales Steven Bradbury refused the committee’s request to turn over the papers, but refused to assert executive privilege in doing so.

Why We (Really) Fight: Mythbusting, Pt. V Redux

(Update: I'm re-posting this today because the announcement just went out that the respective ambassadors of the United States and Iran will be following up on their recent meeting again, this time officially, over the next few weeks to discuss how Iran can help in the stabilization of Iraq. The old post below discusses the basics of what drives American and Western foreign policy. While the upcoming talks are a back-down humiliation for the Bush Administration, they're a big win for BushCo because they're not just "talks." They're the start of a long negotiation which will likely include many components like money, markets, and opportunities. Dick Cheney personally did business with Iran when he was CEO at Halliburton, even though it was expressly banned by law. Profits are more important than laws.

US policy makers do not care if other governments or their people are sacrificing children to molten idols of Moloch and worship in Temples to Baal if there's relatively risk-free bucks to be made. Money will be put on the table with Iran early, and it will involve uranium enrichment and who helps them build nuclear power plants. One big US objective will be to kick the Russians out of their contracts to build the plant at Bushehr. Similar to the deal BushCo struck with India. If that's a trade Iran is willing to make, and they're willing to pay in oil or cash along with making some political concessions, they'll get a deal. I strongly suspect that Mssr. Cheney is already working this angle hard, and that it's behind his recent presence in the Mid-East. And yes, I suspect it even though he just stood on the deck of an aircraft carrier and reminded the mullahs he can bomb them whenever he chooses. If we're dealing with "totalitarians," Cheney is behind it, and there's going to be money involved.)

You've almost undoubtedly heard the logic from a friend or a relative: "Saddam was a bad man, and we had to go take him out." Relatives, well....I figure I'm stuck with them, and if they've put up with me for so long, I can pretty well put up with them. It saddens me more when I hear this kind of thing from a friend, because it means they're spouting ignorance, and ignorance in friends tends to concern me. Sadly, it means I'll probably have to speak carefully and be patient while reality sneaks up behind them and whaps them like a thug with a blackjack just behind their ear. You should be able to save a friend from such a fate.

On rare occasion I've blurted out, "You actually believe our government cares whether or not Saddam Hussein was a bad man? Cool! You must have a trust fund you didn't tell me about. Dinner's on you tonight, thanks, buddy!" Amongst friends, foes, strangers or no, indulging in Non-Delusional Honesty Incidents (or as we call them here at the ABH offices, N-DHI's) regarding our misadventures in the Mid-East have helped keep my social calendar to a manageable level of engagment, and silence, changes of topic, various looks of confusion, indigestion, disappointment, steely rejection, and seething rage can ensue. I've lost friends, too. But all those things are delightful experiences in comparison to living under a Cone of Complete Bullshit (or COC-B).

Here's the AgitPop Foreign Policy Guide, quick and dirty: "Furren" countries are judged not on any moral basis, not ever, despite the pundit classes' well-paid protestations to the contrary. They're judged solely on their willingness and ability to mold themselves in America's image and provide enough stability for corporations to make money. So here's a handy barometer I use:

If there's a McDonald's in a country, it is either with The Program, or they're trying hard to get with it. No McDonald's? No KFCs? No Baskin Robbins, not even a measly Dunkin' Donuts? They're Bad Guys, and you're in Injun country. America's terminology is governed by the McDonald's distinction, because it's a useful measure of whether or not the multinational corporations who run the US government can safely make money in a particular country. If there are a few McDonald's fast food restaurants in Absurdistan, the proper word to characterize its ruler is "authoritarian," or "friendly." If there is no McDonald's, or only one, that country is still run by a "totalitarian regime." August Pinochet: authoritian. Saddam Hussein: totalitarian. One you can make money off of, no problemo, the other is really tricky. See? Rock-solid simple analysis. The best you can do to fleece totalitarians is sell them weapons, a risky and often clandestine exercise.

Afghanistan was invaded not because it had anything to do with 9/11, but because the Taliban had previously negotiated over proposed pipelines, to be junctioned in Kandahar, in bad faith. It also became apparent the Golden Arches were never going to spread their smiling shadows over its craggy landscape. Same basic thing with Saddam Hussein. Refusing the Blessings of the Big Mac is proof positive that a leader is refusing reason, is dangerously totalitarian, and is impossible for our franchises to do business with. Thus the need for "regime change." And what about Iran? Ah, Iran is far, far worse:

Iran has invested its oil wealth in universal education, healthcare, infrastructure bringing clean water and electricity to more than 98 percent of its people, and economic progress. Military spending is a paltry $91 per capita compared to more than $1,500 per capita in the United States and Israel. The social and economic achievements of the revolutionary regime in Iran in the past 25 years look quite progressive in reducing poverty and social inequalities, and as the society liberalises toward a more secular democratic regime, even better progress can be expected in the future. Compared to rising inequality in the United States and Israel, ranked numbers one and two for social inequality among developed nations, the Iranians look pretty damn good.

That, of course, is the problem. If Iran, rather like Venezuela, becomes a regional leader and examplar of social democracy, it becomes a threat to the corporatist and militarist elites that dominate the political classes of Washington and Tel Aviv and exploit the mineral and oil wealth of underdeveloped nations.

Education and successful economic development are a bigger threat than any weaponry if you are a corporatist kleptocrat. And that is why Iran must be bombed, like Iraq and like Lebanon. It has succeeded, and must be bombed back to failure.

The level of distribution, ingredients, preparation, quality, uniformity, and broadcast control required to sell a Big Mac in Mumbai is enormous. By nature, it has to be systemic. This is so axiomatic it has attained the status of an orthodoxy we don't even think about. To us in the West, it's invisible. Whereas, for many Muslims in other countries, they know a McDonald's system will not respect the core dictates of their religion, nor their lives, having witnessed the agents of that system at work in Iraq. Prior to Iraq, McDonald's could buy them off gradually, but now that game is done. Bombing the Iranians won't help bring anyone into line, either. The whole Muslim world has seen with its own eyes that 99% of the Iraq War has been about taking its resources, and they're not about to buy into the American Dream. There won't be a lot of new takers for what we're selling, either, because now they're all "totalitarians."

(So I'm not predicting McDonald's and Starbucks are going to start popping up in Tehran anytime soon. But talking with your enemies is better than the other alternatives. Thanks for Uncle $cam over at American Samizdat for permission to reprint his catch of a Dkos diary.)

Breaking: Articles of Impeachment To Be Filed On Cheney?

Dennis Kucinich is Da Man. Quoted from the Sleuth at WaPo Online:

Looks like he's reached his boiling point.

Rep. Dennis Kucinich (D-Ohio), the most liberal of the Democratic presidential candidates in the primary field, declared in a letter sent to his Democratic House colleagues this morning that he plans to file articles of impeachment against Vice President Dick Cheney.

Kucinich has made ending the war in Iraq the central theme of his campaign. He has even taken aim at the leading Democratic presidential candidates in the field for their votes on authorizing the war.

Article II, Section 4 of the Constitution gives Congress the authority to impeach the president, vice president and "all civil Officers of the United States" for "treason, bribery, or other high Crimes and Misdemeanors."

Sources tell the Sleuth that in light of the mass killings at Virginia Tech Monday, Kucinich's impeachment plans have been put on hold. There will be no action this week, they say.

Kucinich's office had no comment on the Congressman's "Dear Colleague" letter -- which apparently was drafted over the weekend, before the school massacre -- or on what the focus of articles of impeachment against Cheney would be.

But Kucinich shouldn't hold his breath on getting anywhere with his impeachment plan. "We'll see a Kucinich Administration before we'll see a Cheney impeachment," quipped one Democratic aide.


Here is the text of his letter, a copy of which was forwarded to the Sleuth:


April 17, 2007

Dear Colleague:

This week I intend to introduce Articles of Impeachment with respect to the conduct of Vice President Cheney. Please have your staff contact my office . . . if you would like to receive a confidential copy of the document prior to its introduction in the House.

Sincerely,

/s/

Dennis J. Kucinich

Member of Congress

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Soooo, while they're saying the Kucinich Gambit doesn't have a chance in hell of succeeding, at least someone's doing it, and you never know how far the ball will roll. Cheney is about as popular as chiggers at a beach party; some people like that kind of thing, but they're in a pretty weird minority. And as I and many others have said before, a Cheney impeachment is exactly where you need to start off. He's the Architect, he's the Godfather, and what good would impeaching Bush do? Cheney's official position is VP. Do we want him as our f@&$%#* President? Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!

I don't see the mass killings at Virginia Tech as a serious reason not to file impeachment papers, and I don't see Kucinich backing off. It's all the better that he's seen as an outsider and isn't taken seriously because, oh, he's been right on just about everything, and he has a big schnozz, a funny name and funny hair. Maybe this is the Stealth Impeachment. If nothing else, it'll be on the historic record, and that is Progress. If he files the papers, I will be sending Den-K's campaign some money-love.