Texas Governor Threatens To Secede From Union

This just happens to be what I wished for when I blew out that last birthday candle. Thank you Birthday Fairy!!

This move by Governor Rick Perry dovetails beautifully with the Dungeons and Day Jobs State's ad campaign: Texas...It's Like A Whole Other Country.

Umm, exactly. Houston we have a problem. Maybe America really is a failed experiment when your Constitutionally protected right to be a murderous hypernational boob-tard hits critical mass and people are walking in to places and opening up with automatic weapons fire already, a depressingly common event in the past 30 days, is it really so bad if we let them go? And if it does really happen, do not say it can't, it would be like having Uganda or Mexico right next door, except they would give those bastards in the UN a what-fur by not showing up to their "wimpy commie-fests."

Evil Day Bob Job, a blogger who happens to be the #1 hit if you entered "f*%@ texas" into a Google search, proposes the next tourist ad:

So, when you're looking for scorpions, poisonous snakes, scorching heat and human rights abuses, don't go all the way to Mexico! You can get all that and more right here in Texas! "It's Like A Whole Other Country That Was Founded By Your Abusive Brother-In-Law Next Door."

I can't wait to not go, and I'm scared to google-image the same phrase.

Note: Be afraid, be afraid, do not image-search that phrase unless Safe Search is set to "China."