Wednesday, August 30, 2006


Iran: terrorist theocracy, or misunderstood genius? Discuss.

So much for the warm fuzzies. Tomorrow morning is the United Nations' deadline for Iran to halt enrichment of uranium. One wing of the Security Council, otherwise known as the US wing, has its undies in a bunch over the enrichment thing, since that's the stuff to use in nuclear weapons. If Iran doesn't comply, the U.N. could impose economic and diplomatic sanctions. Alternatively, the UN could do nothing, especially since China and Russia also happen to sit on the Security Council and have both been passing notes to Iran in class which say things like, "Bolton is SUCH an ASS.'ve got a really nice ass. I got a present for you. When class ends, get a hall pass and meet me out behind the practice field."

So a lot could happen tomorrow. Everything from John Bolt-on strapping a cruise missile onto his ass and riding it into Tehran like General Bat Guano did in Dr. Strangelove, only less subdued, all the way over to Iran saying, no, no, it was just in the spirit of good negotiating: "We found an old copy of 'Looking Out For #1' a while back and were trying out some of Robert J. Ringer's ideas. Please, let's sit down and talk." For all I know Lot's wife could look back at Gomorrah tomorrow and turn into a pillar of salt. Fox News could start condemning floral arrangements as muslim threats. Those things, and all points between may manifest. But let's not forget, Iran is OPEC's 4th-largest oil producer--which I suppose rational behavior whatsoever.

Heaven help us, and my remaining put options.

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