And Another Thing To Figure Out

Lord Running Boy requested armies for Christmas, and they were raised. He has since waged long-running campaigns against family proxies, and so eulogized a recent battle:

Dear brave soldiers, all 40 of you, for the men who died in two thousand and two: we are sorry. Sorry mom, sorry wife, sorry children. We are all dead and will not have any children again. "Abo, Abo, Abo" means another battle is coming. [Shifts into raspy voice.] We are dead and can't have any more children. We are not brave anymore. We are all dead and we are sorry. Knights are bravery.

Whereupon he informed his grandmother that he is the third reincarnation of Scipio, gaining the aristocratic title "Africanus" for his family, conquered Carthage and made it a tributary after winning the Second Punic War. It is an egregious injustice no one remembers him now despite repeatedly kicking the famous Hannibal's ass, not to mention those of his brothers. It seems the accusations of bribery from Antiochus were the false designs of hard-liners unhappy with his fairness of vanquished enemies. As Livy and Polybius will tell you. He is come back to correct these wrongs and wrestle with two new opponents called SAT and WASL.

The transcript is accurate. The paragraph above is only worry, bafflement, and history. I know we don't stand alone. I know we stand with all the all the others, we stand upon their stepping stones, and if this subject persists long enough, Perseus, I will advocate enlistment in the Coast Guard.