Everything Is Under "Control"

So glad to know that everything is just fine at the Fukushima nuclear reactors, and that I was being a damned fool to go out and get things that block the uptake of radioactive iodine-131, bind with caesium-137 and -134, and to tally the beeps from my Geiger counter keychain. And the 130 gallons of drinking water, the portable garage, the Mac-10, the inflatable roadblock, etc? All unnecessary frivolities of a paranoiac.

So far, so good, just a few extra x-rays for the people in the Pacific Northwest, which the media tells me is actually *great* for your health! Such a relief to know that a bunch of fate-tempting dipshits in engineer suits aren't poisoning my children from halfway around the world, but that they're actually helping them!