Tuesday, June 17, 2008


Talk With The Enemies, Get Delusional

Foreign policy is the art of getting your enemies to do what you want them to. This normally involves praise, rewards, bribes, time-outs, aired grievances, ignored affronts, playing games of Trivial Pursuit, common amusements, and, on remarkably rare occasion, the application of logic. Much like dealing with a toddler, only scaled upwards to nations and borders. Or there's the Bush approach, which is to bomb things to smithereens, make far-ranging diabolical threats, and then lock yourself into an insane asylum.

Despite the continued "don't negotiate with terrorists" stance of the Global Oil Party (GOP), Israel struck a deal with a legitimately elected political party known as Hamas to stop bombing each other's settlements in Gaza. In return for what, it's hard to say. Maybe some peace and quiet? You can bet the inmates at Casa BushCo are shrieking in yellow-foam-specked rage and will need to self-medicate extra heavy tonight.

The truce is a pretty positive development. The US had little to do with, other than pushing for democratic elections in Gaza and then acting as if a baby Alien had gnawed its way out of the body politic's chest and then ran off hissing under the dinner table. Sheesh, those unintended consequences. No one could have imagined. In related news, after making her 22nd visit to the region, having to stay in a second-rate hotel and finding no one in authority to speak with until the pro-Palestinian State Tzipi Livni is installed as the new PM, the the word 'Condi' has been adapted to new uses:
Israeli TV announcers coined her name as a verb, meaning to go endlessly around in circles, accomplishing nothing.
In unrelated news, one-third of the state of Iowa is under flood waters which are expected to rise even further, and President George W. Bush played basketball in Ireland. Apart from impeachment, what the hell are we going to do with this imbecile and his defunct freak show circus when he leaves office?

6 comments:

phil said...

Was his basketball as good as Barack's bowling? These guys should just cleave to their Ivy nerd roots.

Except Barack actually earned his.

isabelita said...

Well, my ideal would be hounding him unto the gates of Hell, but I'm such a dreamer...

MarcLord said...

phil,

yes it was. his jump shot looked like a half-digested tuna flopping out of a gaffed marlin's mouth.

iz,

nice having you two on the same thread! I have visions of Bush eternally farting hot charcoal briquettes out onto the devil's barbecue (a metaphor stolen from Dog House Riley, and banked for the right time). Honestly, until then it's hard to imagine the appropriate fate for this ignominious twit--he doesn't fit anywhere. Execution would be good, but it doesn't feel right. The closest thing I can think of is circus clown.

Davo said...

There is an ancient, British, notion called "the stocks". If that is considered too kind .. perhaps imprisoned in a cage prominently and publicly displayed in Times Square .. but will be kind; only for the length of time equal to the length of his Presidency.

MarcLord said...

Davo,

I dunno, maybe a brand across the forehead:

CAUTION

goatman said...

We shall forget him toot sweet!
And hope the memory does nor recur in dreams.