Old Glory

Today wasn't a great day for us, since the US just drafted torture policy into a law which is a license to torture. So for the moment, I'm going to ignore it. Imagine if the Democratic Party were capable of running the following commercial. Jonathon Schwarz over at A Tiny Revolution already did. I'm simply re-posting in its entirety:

Democrats' Ineptitude Harshly Criticized by Washington Generals
The Republican Party may be run by loathsome, contemptible hatemongers who cynically manipulate America's basest instincts, but you've got to give them this: they do good work. By contrast, the Democrats seem to be led by people who couldn't successfully organize an elementary school bake sale.

For instance, take this appearance by Bush on CNN today:

BLITZER: Let's move on and talk a little bit about Iraq. Because this is a huge, huge issue, as you know, for the American public, a lot of concern that perhaps they are on the verge of a civil war...
BUSH: Yes, you see — you see it on TV, and that's the power of an enemy that is willing to kill innocent people. But there's also an unbelievable will and resiliency by the Iraqi people… Admittedly, it seems like a decade ago. I like to tell people when the final history is written on Iraq, it will look like just a comma because there is — my point is, there's a strong will for democracy.

If Democrats were like Republicans, there would be ads like this running in all fifty states by noon tomorrow:

[sad piano music]

MOTHER:
[holding picture of son in uniform]
This is my son James.
CUT TO:

BUSH:
I like to tell people when the final history is written on Iraq...
CUT TO:

MOTHER:
James was killed in Iraq last year.
CUT TO:

BUSH:
...it will look like just a comma.
CUT TO:

MOTHER:
My son was not a comma. He had a wife and a son and parents who loved him.
CUT TO:

BUSH:
[at Correspondents Dinner]
Those weapons of mass destruction have got to be here somewhere!

[audience laughs]
CUT TO:

MOTHER:
Now James is dead because of a war based on lies.
CUT TO:

BUSH:
[at Correspondents Dinner]
No, no weapons over there!

[audience laughs]
CUT TO:

MOTHER:
A war that's made all of President Bush's corrupt buddies rich.
SUPER: Headlines—"Halliburton gets billions in contracts," "Lockheed CEO payout in millions"

MOTHER:
Please vote this November, and send George Bush a message.
CUT TO:

REPORTER:
Mr. President, in your speeches now you rarely talk or mention Osama bin Laden.

BUSH:
I truly am not that concerned about him.
SUPER: "Vote to send a message. Vote for change. Vote Democratic."

• • •
Meanwhile, on whatever the Democratic equivalent of Fox News would be, there would already be splashy graphics and theme music for "Comma-gate." It would be the sole topic of conversation on the channel for the next month, with the Democratic Chris Wallace mournfully asking guests "Should the president resign?"

Fortunately for Bush, however, he is up against actually-existing Democrats, who will get themselves organized to the point that Barney Frank will mention this once in an interview on a 300-watt radio station in Louisville.

Posted by Jonathan Schwarz at September 24, 2006 06:53 PM